I Would Like To See Musical Versions Of...

For no reason at all, I started thinking about musicals, and some amazing flicks I'd like to see turned into jolly song-filled romps. Hell, they put Spiderman on Broadway, so why can't I dream?

The Matrix

I imagine the dirty underground world of Zion, people wearing rags, dancing at the orgy-like celebration of I forget what. Which leads into a big group dance number, tribal style. The opening number would be a tormented ballad called "Deliver Us From Mecha." There would be strings and horns and bongo drums and all those primal instruments.

When we get to John Anderson inside the Matrix, it's all techo; bleep bloop beepity bop, that sorta thing. John sings his laments in a number called "Down the Rabbit Hole."

When we meet Morpheous he sings a jazzy number called, "You're the One."

And so on and so forth like that...

Dawn of the Dead

Our lead female awakes to a scary-ass little girl in the hallway, looking a little fluish. Whilst they struggle (choreographed of course), we are treated to "I'm Never Babysitting Again," then while she drives and drives in search of salvation, we hear a choir of angels as she approaches the mall and sings her power ballad "I'm Gonna Loot This Place." The couple who are expecting also capture the audience with their tap routine and song called "Zombie Baby Of Mine."

As time progresses, the zombies in the street do a giant group dance and sing "Decomposing," a happy fun tune in the style of doo-wop. The choreography and harmonies obviously deteriorate with time. There is a sub-plot about a zombie romance that culminates with the haunting love song "baaaahhhhhhaauuughhh..."

Lord Of The Rings

This 12 hour musical will make you laugh, make you cry, you might nap a little, and you'll also get out of your chair and boogie!

The stage is set with a lovely duet between Frodo and Sam called "Secret Love," followed by a hilarious up-tempo number by Gandalf entitled "I Smokes My Herb" and a group number performed by the hobbits called "Furry Feet, Big Hearts."

Act two gets dark, and we are given a huge powerful orchestral number by Frodo - "My Posse And Me", followed by an Orc ballet right before intermission. After the break, we get some soul with "I'm a Tree Man," and of course Boromir's defiant rendition of "Walking Into Mordor."

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More later...