Tantalizing Trivia: Bowie's Crystal Balls Revealed

Apparently this is something everyone realized at the age of ten that I only learned (after Chantale berated me for being a dunce) at the age of 24.

 

In Labyrinth (1986) Bowie's goblin-king-crotch-bulging character Jareth has a knack for ummm... swingin' around crystal balls and making it look all magic-y. Yeah. That's what it's called. But in the reality that everyone knew existed except me until fairly recently, it was a guy named Michael Moschen, a professional juggler, working behind D-Bow with his arm inserted into the jacket. Geez. I knew Jareth had magic up his sleeve, but wow! BWAHAHA oh Lord I am hilarious. *crickets* No? Ok I'll just go sit in the corner over there and entertain myself with puns. Nobody appreciates me. 

Memorable Monologue: Legend

"You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal!"

~ Tim Curry as The Lord of Darkness in Legend (1985) 

Tasty Tagline: Spies Like Us

With spies like these who needs enemies?

Audacious Audition: Henry Thomas for E.T.: The Extraterrestrial

I've said it before and I'll say it again - child actors just aren't what they used to be. Where was Henry Thomas when the role of little Anakin Skywalker needed casting? Oh yeah, he was 28 years old. Damn.

Anyways, check out his audition for E.T., that he knocked outta the park, and won the role out of 300 hopefuls. Kid even sheds some tears during this clip. Amazing. Just look at those trembling lips, those glazed-over eyes. He's not just acting, he's reacting. Talent. That is all.

Tasty Tagline: The Ice Pirates

See a universe on the rocks...

Tremble at the ferocious space possums...

Catch Space Herpie the Love Bug.

Tasty Tagline: Club Paradise

The vacation you'll never forget -

no matter how hard you try.

Memorable Monologue: High Spirits

[On the phone]

"Sir, once again I must remind you that my first name is not "dick". Nor is my surname "face". It is simply "Peter". "Peter Plunkett"... No, I was not given a middle name but I'm sure if I had, my mother would not have chosen "shit-for-brains peckerhead"... Well then clearly you know a side to my mother that I have been happily sheltered from. Nevertheless I marvel at your colorfully creative ever so American colloquialism which flow so trippingly from your razor-like tongue!"

~ Peter O'Toole as Peter Plunkett in High Spirits (1988)

Memorable Monologue: Big

"The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don't let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend - a triscuit. She said, a triscuit - a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly's out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool. I'm hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times."

~ David Moscow and Jared Rushton in Big (1988)

Delicious Dinner: Funny Farm

Here's another memorable meal, at a quaint country diner in Funny Farm (1988). And when out in the country, you just gotsta try the local specialties.

For instance - Lamb Fries. Watch Andy (Chevy Chase) devour his third order of this treat, raving about how delicious they are.

Then, sadly, he discovers what he's really eating. If they were THAT GOOD, would you keep eating? Or would you be put off by the truth?

"Take Me Home Tonight" Promises 80s Goodness

An aimless college grad pursue his dream girl at a wild Labor Day weekend party. He, his twin sister and their best friend struggle with their burgeoning adulthood over the course of the night. [IMDB]

This new comedy, coming out next month. stars Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Dan Fogler, and Teresa Palmer as the aforementioned quartet of crazy kids.

Granted, these are all funny people, but something rubs me the wrong way about Topher Grace, ever since he left That 70s Show in the height of its goodness to pursue an acting career (that didn't really pan out). I'll see this anyway, even though I know critics will hate it and movie snobs will shite all over it. I'm sure it'll be cute and keep me entertained enough to make it through to the end. Dan Fogler especially captures my attention, as everything I've seen him in so far has been hilarious.

I will say this -- I'm done with 30-somethings playing late-teens and early 20-somethings. You're not fooling anyone, Hollywood.

The movie is set in the 80s, which will make for some fun cultural references, a wicked soundtrack (as the title implies) plus awesome hair and wardrobe.

There looks to be an element of "all-in-one-day" storytelling, which we looove, plus some grand theft auto shenaynays, and a wicked house party scene. Worth checking out, dontcha think?

Tasty Tagline: Haunted Honeymoon

... A Comedy Chiller

Quotable Quote: See No Evil, Hear No Evil

 "I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt."

~ Richard Pryor as Wallace 'Wally' Karue in See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989)

Tantalizing Trivia: TRON

Apperently Jeff Bridges has a mofo HUGE package. For real. In the original TRON (1982), 'ol Jeffy had to wear a special belt to hide his bulging... well... bulge. Wow.

Quotable Quote: Field of Dreams

"This is my most special place in all the world, Ray. Once a place touches you like this, the wind nevers blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child."

~ Burt Lancaster as Dr. Archibald 'Moonlight' Graham in Field of Dreams (1989)

Tasty Tagline: Great Balls Of Fire

... He was born to raise hell!

Scintillating Scene: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Adam, our Cin-Ob Supreme, wanted something from FBDO (1986). And we're not just gonna give him something... we're gonna give him IT. THE THING. THE BE ALL END ALL, BEST OF THE B.. oops caps lock.

This scene is like... ughh... best scene ever. Wasn't that eloquent of me? Eff you, I'm trying here. It's the scene that you kinda forget is coming, but when you see the parade you go "Yesssssss...." deep inside. Or sometimes out loud, if you're like me...

I had/have a giant crush on Matt-Brod in this movie. It's the character I love, really. He's charming, funny, unusually articulate and silver-tongued (thanks synonym.com) for a high school kid. And oh boy, did my pre-teen hormones ever go mental when he got up there and sang this tune. In fact, I was weirdly attracted to him during his warm-up number, Danke Schoen. Is that weird? I don't care. I wanted to be Ferris Bueller, and I wanted to be with Ferris Bueller. I wanted to sniff and snuggle up to that vest, but I also wanted to wear that vest. Very few characters accomplish this sensation in viewers, and that's why, my friends, Ferris will go down in history.

Interesting tid-bit for ya - a lot of the dancing extras were just there for the parade (which was actually happening that day in Chicago) and John Hughes was just like "look at that jigging construction worker! Film that!" So now you can watch and know deep in your heart that what you're seeing is genuine. Mostly.

The Grim Reaper on Film

I once wrote about my favourite Devils, Lucifers, and Satans, and I'm back in the macabre mood, so I'm gonna tell you about my favie harbingers of death. The Grim Reaper. What a character. In film he can be portrayed as silly, serious, and mofo scary. Here are the 3 best.

Scrooged (1988)

While he's more of a "ghost of Christmas future" you can't deny the reaper-ish qualities of this dude. And when his scene was coming, I always got a little uncomfortable. He doesn't say a word, but his appearance says it all. "I'm here for your soul, bitch."

He's tall, dark, and robed, and he gives me the willies. I still managed a giggle when Frank mistakes him for an actor, then rips open his outfit to reveal writhing moaning demons.

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)

Although this Grim Reaper, coming for the souls of our protagonists Bill and Ted, is scary and has a sinister purpose, you kinda like him. He learns to cut loose a little and starts living the afterlife. Haha see what I did there?

He's actually played by William Sadler, or as I know him - Breaker, from Demon Knight (1995), in which he was trying to preserve life, not suck it away.

Meet Joe Black (1998)

Thirdly, and most sexily, is Joe, aka Brad Pitt. Generally I'm not a Pitt-fanatic, but he ain't hard to look at in this role. This version of death is quiet, demure, sensual, and innocent. He's not a malicious soul-sucker, but just a guy doing his job, really.

Are there any other amazing death representations on the big screen?

Tasty Tagline: Conan The Barbarian

Thief

Warrior

Gladiator

King

Tasty Tagline: Troll

Apartment for rent.

Inquire within...

Quotable Quote: The Money Pit

"Aahhh... Home Crap Home."

~ Tom Hanks as Walter Fielding in The Money Pit (1986)