Memorable Monologue: Clerks II

"Before he was the Mad Ducats guy, he was just Pickle Fucker. You see, freshman year, the seniors would hunt us down and put us through what they called 'initiations'. They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us in the girls shower room naked, but Lance here got the worst of it. The seniors yanked down his pants and shoved a pickle up his ass and made him walk ten feet. If the pickle fell out before he hit the ten-foot mark, he had to take a bite of it, re-insert it, and walk again."

~ Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves in Clerks II (2006)