A Great Bromance Returns With The New Sherlock Holmes Flick!

Yaaayyy! I am so freaking excited for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, you don't even know!

I've watched the first one so many times, it's sick. I love the period genre, I love RDJ, I love Jude, I love detectives, I love science, I love pipes, I love paranormal, so how could I NOT love that movie? So the idea of a sequel has me tingling.

Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty. IMDB

No surprise in the plot there, since it was majorly hinted at in the first one, and anyone who knows a darn tootin' thing about Holmes is that Moriarty is his arch nemesis, so a tiny cameo in passing in the first movie just wasn't enough.

Honestly, I really can't wait to see more of RDJ and Jude, because they just had this bro-chemistry that was mesmorizing.

Did you enjoy the first one? Are you psyched for the second one?

Breaking Dawn Part 1 is Getting Closer!

Oh my oh my oh my... Breaking Dawn is almost here!

Although the last book, in my opinion, was rushed, ridiculous, lazy, and downright disgusting and offensive to young girls, I'm super duper anxious to see how it translates into film. Without any spoilers for those who haven't read the book, I'll just say there were a few gruesome and graphic scenes that I can't quite imagine being played out visually. The movies have been pretty light and PG, but Breaking Dawn (if true to the book) will push the teen-friendly franchise into some racy and nasty territory, including teen marriage and pregnancy, violent sex, and mutant babies. Awwwww yyeaaaahh!!

Anyways, why am I avoiding spoilers? This teaser trailer pretty much tells you everything you need to know. Actually, thinking about it, I bet they'll cut off part 1 right at the gruesome shit and save it for part 2. Yep, that's what they'll do.

Here. The IMDB write-up is a spoiler in itself:

The Quileute and the Volturi close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses different threats to the wolf pack and vampire coven.

Tasty Tagline: The Grudge 2

No one outlives the terror.

Dazzling Dance: Clerks 2

We loved Clerks, no doubt. But something just didn't feel right about this sequel. It was good, and any Smith fan would enjoy the dialogue-heavy flick, but it just seemed like the Clerks concept needed to end with the first one. It was amazing for what it was, but it should have stopped there.

More specifically, what rubbed me the wrong way was the main relationship of the movie, Dante and Becky. In the real world, it just wouldn't happen. Dante is a cool guy, but I don't think he could snag a chick as hot as her. Smith is always talking about how his wife is out of his league, so maybe this was art reflecting life.

Either way, this dance scene absolutely emphasizes the awkwardness of the pairing. Poor white dude just can't dance, and they end up in a weird ballroom position with Jackson 5's ABC playing. Also, the whole cast gets in on it, culminated by a weird rehearsed group number at the end.

Did you enjoy Clerks 2?

Memorable Monologue: Toy Story 2

"Here's your list of things to do while I'm gone: batteries need to be changed. Toys at the bottom of the chest need to be rotated. Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr. Spell's seminar on what to do if you or part of you is swallowed. Okay? Okay, good, okay."

~ Tom Hanks as Woody in Toy Story 2 (1999)

The Hangover 2 is a Remake of Hangover 1

*Grrooooaaaan plus massive face palm*

Sweet Lord, I can't believe they did this. This trailer made me wanna slap someone. Hard. Not only do the guys drink themselves into a blackout AGAIN, but they lose a friend... AGAIN (but check the roof right away). Instead of a missing tooth, Stu gets a tattoo.. on his FACE, Alan loses his hair, and there's a monkey instead of a tiger.

We've even got the bullshit dialogue of "Oh no not again!" and the same old "check your pockets for clues" crap. The first Hangover was funny, but my head didn't explode with comedy as some people's did. And to see them do the EXACT same thing again is pretty disheartening. I can get behind the story of some guys who are unwittingly drugged and act a fool. But to let it happen twice? Geez. You don't need shenanigans, you need rehab and a life coach to help you make better choices.

Sorry... I'm cranky this morning. What do you think of the trailer?

Memorable Monologue: Shrek Forever After

"Fiona, I know everything about you. I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode. I know that when you sign your name, you put a heart over the i. I know that when you see a shooting star you cross your fingers on both hands, squinch up your nose, and you make a wish, I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet, and I know that you sleep by candlelight because every time you close your eyes, you're afraid you're going to wake up back in that tower, But most importantly Fiona, I know that the reason that you turn human every day is because you've never been kissed, well, by me."

~ Mike Myers as Shrek in Shrek Forever After (2010) 

The 89 Second Review: Tron Legacy

Tasty Tagline: The Santa Clause 2

Check it twice.

Delightful Dialogue: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Cedrick the Bellman: Do you know how the TV works?

Kevin McCallister: I'm 10-years-old. TV is my life.
 
~ Rob Schneider and Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Delightful Dialogue: Sex And The City 2

Samantha: Now, why would Liza agree to this?

Miranda: It's the law of physics. Whenever there's this much gay energy in one room, Liza manifests.

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

I have a confession. I LOVED Silent Hill (2006). Stop scoffing at the computer and deal with it. The imagery was frickin' scaaaary - like armless faceless dude who walks all effed up, or those goddamn horrifying nurses, or big helmet head hammer skirt wearing dude.. who by the way, was totally ripped off in Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010). I am one of 2 people I know who loved it. I'll give you one guess who that person is...

Anyways, the new movie focuses on the creeptastic little girl, all growed up.

Heather Mason and her father have been on the run, always one step ahead of dangerous forces that she doesn't fully understand, Now on the eve of her 18th birthday, plagued by horrific nightmares and the disappearance of her father, Heather discovers she's not who she thinks she is. The revelation leads her deeper into a demonic world that threatens to trap her forever. [IMDB]

Despite my warm and fuzzy (or terrifying and frightening) feelings toward this video-game adaptation, I will admit I'm not too keen on a sequel.

UPDATE: The trailer we posted turned out to be fan-made or some crap.

Regardless, did you guys like the first one? How do you feel about a second?

Tasty Tagline: Sex & the City 2

Carrie on.

Top Gun 2 - I'm not even kidding...

Top Gun 2 officially has an IMDB page, although it's still categorized as in development.

Why oh why is this necessary? These decades-later-sequels just don't do it for me. It seems so lazy. Studio execs just run out of new ideas and start looking through their DVD collections and go "Oh! THIS could use a sequel!" Hence, Top Gun 2 is apparently coming sometime in 2013.

Would you see this? Does this annoy you like it does me? Who would you like to see as Maverick, Goose, and Iceman? I think they should just go for broke and bring back ALL the orig cast and not acknowledge how old they are now or that any time has passed. Well except Goose, because SPOILER - he died.

Tantalizing Trivia: Hannibal

In the opening credits of Hannibal (2001) the pigeons are slowly moving around to form Anthony Hopkins' face. Skip to the 4:05 mark to see it take shape.

Quotable Quote: Saw VI

"You think it's the living who have ultimate judgment over you, because the dead will have no claim over your soul. But you may be mistaken."

~ Tobin Bell as Jigsaw in Saw VI (2009) 

The 89 Second Review: Paranormal Activity 2

Tron: Legacy Merchandise!

Ever wanted to feel like you're inside the movie Tron? Now you can, with Disney's new line of Tron: Legacy merchandise!

With this stylish belt you can tell the world, "Hey, I wish I lived in a video game. Wanna go on a date? No? Aw."

Did you know there were hookers in the Tron universe? Now you can look like one with these spikey sci-fi shoes!

Wanna wear some huge-ass medallion on your neck that I'm sure has some special meaning in the film that I'm not aware of, that will have everyone going "Wow! What the hell is that?" Now you can!

Delightful Dialogue: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

[falling down a really big hole]

Bill: Hey, you wanna play 20 questions?

Ted: Okay! I got one!

Bill: Are you a mineral?

Ted: Yeah!

Bill: Are you a tank?

Ted: Whoa! Yeah!

~ Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)

Opulent Opening: Scary Movie 2

We love a good spoof. Not surprising.

Not only does this Opulent Opening from Scary Movie 2 (2001) contain a happy-go-lucky singalong that turns gangsta, but it also has Natasha Lyonne as a demon child, an extended piss joke (and a poo joke for that matter), James Woods, Andy Richter, and some major projectile vomiting. Is it weird that those things combined made for a great scene? No, I've decided it's not weird.