Memorable Monologue: Bicentennial Man

"Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and says 'Does this taste funny to you?' How do you make a hanky dance? Put a little boogie in it! What is a brunette between two blondes? A translator! Do you know why blind people don't like to sky-dive? It scares their dogs! A man with demensia is driving on the freeway. His wife calls him on the mobile phone and says 'Sweetheart, I heard there's someone driving the wrong way on the freeway.' He says 'One? There's hundreds!' What's silent and smells like worms? Bird farts. It must have been an engineer who designed the human body. Who else would put a waste processing plant next to a recreation area? A woman goes into a doctor's office, and the doctor says 'Do you mind if I numb your breasts?' 'Not at all.' Num-num-num-num.'"

~ Robin Williams as Andrew Martin in Bicentennial Man (1999)