P-P-P-POKER FACE P P POKER FAAACE!

We recently discussed our fave casino flicks, which turned into a more specific convo between us about awesome poker scenes.  This age-old card game has been featured in many flicks, and it often turns into a scintillating scene.

Ocean's 11 (2001)

This scene stuck out for us because it featured some celebs at the time, and we also enjoyed the irony that the biggest celebs in the room were actually supposed to be the nobodys. What's also amusing, watching this now, is that the poker students were young hot stars at the time, and now... well... where are they? Although, I maintain to this day, Barry Watson is haawwwt.

And for the boys, there's strippers in the background of this scene too, so enjoy.

I Love You Man (2009)

This scene from I Love you, Man is just the bestest. Poor Peter is trying to make friends in his sweet non-threatening way (Stones or Beatles?) and is so brutally shot down by the d-bags at the table who don't even want him there. Sweetypie Peter is even congratulating others on their great hands, unbeknownst to him that he's creamed them. He even sincerely apologizes for beating them. How could you not fall in love with this character? This is also followed up by the priceless projectile vomit scene.

A cameo by Jay Chandrasekhar also makes me giddy.

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days (2003)

Kate Hudson is a great commedianne and this scene is a perfect example. Benny is trying to have poker night with the guys and in comes conniving Andie to muck it all up and embarrass the bejesus outta him.

How do you ruin poker night? Easy. Take away the greasy food (and insert cucumber sammiches), snuff out the cigars, blow his nose like a 4 year old, announce people's cards, and throw a hissy fit. Check, check, and check. She nails it. Or blows it, however you wanna look at it.

What else is great, looking back on this '03 gem, is getting to see Thomas Lennon before we knew how freakin' awesomely hilarious he is.

Maverick (1994)

You can't mention poker without talking about this game in its hayday when people got shot routinely during games. This is one hell of a poker tournament, with some greats like James Coburn and Alfred Molina. I'd be intimidated, that's for sure. Hell, Coburn's voice alone would be enough to make me fold.

This is the kind of scenario that almost never happens, but this movie sure was good at making the game exciting.

What to Expect When Your Hollywood Expectations Are Low... the answer? This Movie.

Hollywood Producer Guy: "Geez, we're really running on fumes here since we tapped out the comic book market! We've even done board game movies in our desperation. What's next for us?"

Guy #2: "I got it, boss! This book has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for 791 years and nobody's made a movie yet!"

Hollywood Producer Guy: "But it's an informational book. There's no story."

Guy: "Your point?..."

Hollywood Producer Guy:"Get the authors on the phone! I have movie rights to buy!"

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At least that's how I imagine it went down when this dipshit idea came into being.

When I saw the poster with J-Lo on it I thought it was a cleverly photoshopped joke. A quick google search told me it was sadly a reality. Fo' realio, Jennyfromtheblock? You already did the horrible panned pregnancy flick. A flick that my movie-lovin' sis and I walked out of. Yeah, that's right. We just couldn't make it to the end, a sentiment I'm sure was shared by many cinema patrons.

The latest movies Hollywood is pumping out are shameful, based on anything they can buy the rights to, and What to Expect When You're Expecting (to be released in May) will most likely be another lame-ass multi-storyline POS that boyfriends everywhere will roll their eyes about and be dragged to go see, and girls with small brains will shriek to their friends "Oh my gaawwddd we have to go see that! GIRLS NIGHT!"

Sorry, I don't mean to come across all hostile and shit, but it's true. Check out this jaw-dropping synopsis:

A look at the lives of five couples as they prepare to become parents.[IMDB]

Whoa whoa whoa there, not so much information! You can bet every stereotype will be represented here, from the fertility-treated couple, possibly a lesbian couple, the older couple, the young inexperienced couple, the accidental solo-pregnancy, the "loves being pregnant" Stepford wife, the angry "losing my career" business woman, etc., etc., etc.

Other celebrities who stooped low enough to be a part of this are Anna Kendrick, Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Brooklyn Decker, Megan Mullaly, Chace Crawford, and Mr. Schuester Matthew Morrison.

How do you feel about every single thing that exists in pop culture being made into a film?

More posters featuring other knocked up female celebs after the jump..

Delightful Dialogue: Bridesmaids

Megan: I fell off a cruise ship.

Annie: Oh, shit.

Megan: Yeah, oh, shit. Took a hard hard violent fall, kinda pin-balled down hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I'm not gonna say i survived I'm gonna say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there and I swear to God that dolphin, looked not at me, but into my soul, looked into my Goddamn soul.

~ Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids (2011)

Tasty Tagline: Bobby

He saw wrong and tried to right it.

He saw suffering and tried to heal it.

He saw war and tried to stop it.

Quotable Quote: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in."

~ Kate Winslet as Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) 

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

It's been a while folks, but I'm here today to tell you about an upcoming flick. After our piece on our favie Casino gems, I thought it appropriate to follow it up with a movie about a Vegas magician! Abracadabra, synopsis-bo-bopsis!

The film follows Las Vegas magician Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) as he attempts to reunite with his former partner Anton Lovecraft (Steve Buscemi) to take on dangerous street magician Steve Gray (Jim Carrey). Wikipedia

I likey. I likey a lot. Cast members also include James Gandolfini, Olivia Wilde, Brad Garrett, Jay Mohr, Alan Arkin and a rumoured David Copperfield as himself. Awesome. How can this go wrong?

Cha Ching Cha Ching! Casinos on Film!

Angie here!

When you enter a casino do you get that tingly feeling all over? Do the sounds of the slot machines light a fire in your soul that makes you go “ HERE! Take my money for the infinitesimal chance that I might come out richer!” No? Is it just me? Should I go to some “meetings?” Damn, ok.

I probably go to a casino once a year, if that, but I do get my fix from movies (in fact, movies cater to many of my vices that I don’t dare indulge in in the real world), and the occasional online casino. Stop looking at me like that... I have a slight blackjack addiction. Casinos are akin to their own character in many films, being the perfect setting for many plot devices. They set the stage for financial ruin and success, corruption, greed, social status, crime, business, drinking and debauchery, shenanigans, the list goes on.

So which casino flicks have captured my heart? Which have made the best use of casinos for storytelling? I thought you’d never ask.

Jane Austin’s Mafia! (1998)

Let’s start off with a spoof. All y’all Cin-Obs know we love a good parody, and this one encapsulates almost all of the mafia flicks we know and love with a tone of light-hearted mockery and ricidulousness.

This whole movie is not set in a casino, but there is an unforgettable montage involving one that sticks in my memory. Whenever I lose money gambling, I think back to the scene where people put their money on the table and the dealer just goes “no sorry, you lost” and takes it. Or when people just give up and mail their money in. Or the scene in the back room where the employees are sucking up the money with giant vacuums because they just can’t handle the volume of incoming cash.

When things go bad for the owner, there’s also a great scene that should deter you from cheating. And it involves a cattle prod.

Casino (1995)

I know the real movie snobs will want to bash my skull in for placing Mafia! over Casino (1995) but I just had to. When I think of casinos my brain first goes to fun and comedy, then after to dark depressing real-life scary stuff.

This Scorsese flick is renowned for the actors’ performances, and it also epitomizes the concept of the Casino as a character in the film. It’s an inside look on the life of a casino boss, and you can’t help but feel that this is probably fairly accurate. That’s probably because it’s based on real events and real people. Which blows the mind when you think about the violence and corruption taking place. Even though the Sam Rothstein character (played by De Niro) is a total baddie crime guy, you sympathize with him. You want him to do well. You feel sorry that he has to deal with that putz Nicky (Joe Pesci).

Filming took place in the Riviera in Las Vegas, so you’re not looking at a sound stage. Regardless of the drugs, the mob presence, and murder, you can still feel the glitz and glamour that is the casino experience. After all, no matter who’s running the show behind the scenes, a casino still represents the hope of striking it rich. It can happen to anyone. It usually doesn't, but hey - it could happen.

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Chantale here, ready to discuss some classic casino movies. I started thinking about all the flicks I love that involve gambling. My list was long, then I realized that it wasn't so much about gambling, but more about the fact that they were set in Vegas. I've had a love affair with Vegas since I was a child. What? Don't all kids dream about Sin City? Stop looking at me weird. I always had a thing for Vegas growing up - perhaps it was bright lights, or the magicians, either way, I loved it and still do.

One of my all-time faves is Ocean's 11 (2001). 

Now please don't judge me when I tell you that I have not actually seen the original 1960 version with some of the greats. I will see it one day, but for now, my heart pitter patters for the remake. Danny Ocean (George Clooney) rounds up his gang of charismatic, multi-talented crooks for the biggest heist any of them have ever seen. Robbing 3 casinos at once is not easy feat and requires 11 skilled criminals. I loved every one of them! We had Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) - pickpocket extraordinaire, Basher (Don Cheadle) - blower-upper extraordinaire and Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner) - Master of disguise. Honourable mench goes out to Andy Garcia who played Terry Benedict. Well done Andy, you played one very unlikeable arsehole. Such a great flick with a perfect amount of humour sprinkled throughout. SPOILER ALERT - Every time I watch it, I'm so excited and moved that they pull it off in the end. Fuck Benedict.

Another favie of mine is Vegas Vacation (1997). 

Clark Griswold is one effing loveable character I will watch time and time again. Some Cin-Obs may argue that this Vacation flick was a disappointment, but I will have to disagree. I would take Vegas Vacation over European Vacation anyday. I don't care if the Griswold kids change every movie. It don't matter. As long as we have Clark, Helen and cousin Eddie, we're all good.

Where to start? It's an hour and a half of shenanigans in the city that never sleeps. Clark immediately gets the gambling bug and is on a mission to lose all his money from the get go. After losing their life savings, Clark borrows money from cousin Eddie (that they have to dig up all over Eddie's desert property) and they visit the most ridiculous casino eva. Games include 'Pick a Number Between 1 and 10', 'Coin Toss', 'War', 'Rock, Scissors, Paper', and 'Guess Which Hand'. Ahhh classic. We also saw Helen fall for Wayne Newton, and Rusty Griswold (played by Ethan Embry.. swoon) assume his new identity as Nick Papagiorgio. Awesome. This movie, in my mind at least, does not disappoint in the Vacation series. If you haven't seen it, I do recommend.

There are so many great Vegas/casino/gambling movies out there. Are the Cin-Obs surprised by our top picks? Probz not. You know what we like!