Showing posts with label Delightful Dialogue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Delightful Dialogue. Show all posts

Friday, January 27, 2012

Delightful Dialogue: Bridesmaids

Megan: I fell off a cruise ship.

Annie: Oh, shit.

Megan: Yeah, oh, shit. Took a hard hard violent fall, kinda pin-balled down hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I'm not gonna say i survived I'm gonna say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there and I swear to God that dolphin, looked not at me, but into my soul, looked into my Goddamn soul.



~ Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids (2011)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: No Strings Attached


Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?

Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

~ Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher in No Strings Attached (2011)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Knight and Day


June: The pilots are dead?

Roy: Shot.

June: Shot... By who?

Roy: Uh, me. Actually, I shot the first pilot... he shot the second pilot accidentally. It's just... one of those things.

~ Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise in Knight and Day (2010)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Heartbreak Kid


Eddie Cantrow: Hey, uh, do you think you could tell me where I could find Uncle Tito?

Tito: Yes. Uh, may I ask who's inquiring?

Eddie Cantrow: Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow and I'm a friend of a friend of his. I'm supposed to give him something.

Tito: I'm sorry to tell you this, but he no longer works here. He's actually in jail, serving six to ten years. He was caught having cock-fights. And I'm not speaking about the kind of rooster.

Eddie Cantrow: Oh.

Tito: Screw off! I'm joking, man! C'mon! I am Uncle Tito.
 
~ Ben Stiller and Carlos Mencia in The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Get Him To The Greek


Limo Driver in London: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?

Aaron Green: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.

~ Jim Piddock and Jonah Hill in Get Him To The Greek (2010)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Journey to the Center of the Earth


Trevor: Hey, look at all the schist.

Sean: What?

Trevor: It's a metamorphic rock. Green schist, white schist, mica-garnet schist...

Sean: Oh. Schist.

~ Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutcherson in Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Other Guys


Terry Hoitz: I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Allen Gamble: OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean? Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that makes sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?

Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned... Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.



Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The 40 Year Old Virgin


David: Hey, Paula.

Paula: Yeah?

David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.

Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?

David: I don't care. Anything. I would rather... I would rather watch "Beautician and the Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothing against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.

Paula: You're such a smartass. Get back on the floor.
 
~ Paul Rudd and Jane Lynch in The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Sgt. Bilko


Assistant Casino Manager: Is there anything else we can do for you sir?

Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: Yes, go down to your vaults and tell your money to be patient, we'll be together shortly.

~ Ursula Burton and Steve Martin in Sgt. Bilko (1996)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Godfather


Michael: My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.

Kay Adams: Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed.

Michael: Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?

~ Al Pacino and Diane Keaton in The Godfather (1972)

Friday, March 18, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Priscilla: Queen of the Desert


Bernadette: What's this?

Felicia: That, my darling, is my most treasured posession in the whole wide world.

Bernadette: What is it?

Felicia: Well, a few years ago I went on a pilgrimmage backstage to an ABBA concert, hoping to grab an audience with her Royal Highness Agnetha. Well, when I saw her ducking into the ladies loo, naturally I followed her in. And after she'd finished her business I ducked into the cubicle only to find she'd left me a little gift sitting in the toilet bowl.

Bernadette: What are you telling me? This is an ABBA turd?

~ Guy Pearce and Terence Stamp in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert (1994)



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Very Thought of You


Frank: My perfect partner is me.

Martha: You?

Frank: Yeah, me... with breasts.

~ Rufus Sewell and Monica Potter in The Very Thought of You (1998)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Social Network


Gretchen: 18,000 dollars?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: A total of $19,000 now?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Mark Zuckerberg: Hang on, I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

~ Denise Grayson, Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network (2010)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: South Park - Bigger, Longer & Uncut


Newscaster: This isn't the first bad thing to come out of Canada. Let's not forget Bryan Adams!

Canadian Representative: Yes, well the Canadian government has apologized for him on several occasions.

~ Trey Parker and Matt Stone in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (1999)


Delightful Dialogue: Tommy Boy


Tommy: I l-left a message.

Richard Hayden: A message? What number did you call?

Tommy: Two, four, niner, five, six, seven...

Richard Hayden: I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?

Tommy: No, it was cordless.

Richard Hayden: You know what? Don't. Not here, not now.

~ Chris Farley and David Spade in Tommy Boy (1995)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Love Actually


Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?

Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what... two hours?

Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?

Sarah: Um, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.

~ Alan Rickman and Laura Linney in Love Actually (2003)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Over the Hedge


Hammy the Squirrel: What is that?

RJ: That, my friend, is a magical combination of corn flour, dehydrated cheese solids, BHA, BHT, and good old MSG; a.k.a., the chip, nacho cheese flavor.

~ Steve Carell and Bruce Willis in Over the Hedge (2006)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Kinsey


Alfred Kinsey: Who can tell me which part of the human body can enlarge a hundred times. You, miss?

Female Student: I'm sure I don't know. And you've no right to ask me such a question in a mixed class.

Alfred Kinsey: I was referring to the pupil in your eye, young lady. And I think I should tell you, you're in for a terrible disappointment.

~ Liam Neeson as Dr. Alfred Kinsey in Kinsey (2004)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: Death to Smoochy


Randolph: What about Wally the Whale?

Sheldon: Laura, how could you do it with Wally the Whale?

Randolph: There she blows!

Sheldon: I don't believe this is happening. I can't believe you didn't tell me about this.

Nora: Listen, Sheldon, I'm not proud of it but, there was a time in my life when I was a bit of a kiddie host groupie.

~ Robin Williams, Edward Norton, and Catherine Keener in Death to Smoochy (2002)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Delightful Dialogue: The Green Mile


John Coffey: I'm smellin' me some cornbread.

Paul Edgecomb: It's from my mises. She wanted to thank you.

John Coffey: Thank me for what?

Paul Edgecomb: Well, you know...for helpin' me.

John Coffey: Helpin' you with what?

Paul Edgecomb: You know.

John Coffey: Ohh. Was your misses pleased?

Paul Edgecomb: Several times.

~ Michael Clarke Duncan and Tom Hanks in The Green Mile (1999)