Memorable Monologue: 3:10 to Yuma

"You ever read the Bible, Dan? I read it one time. I was eight years old. My daddy just got hisself killed over a shot of whiskey and my mama said 'we're going back East to start over'. So she gave me a Bible, sat me down in the train station, told me to read it. She was gonna get our tickets. Well, I did what she said. I read that Bible from cover to cover. It took me three days. She never came back."

~ Russell Crowe as Ben Wade in 3:10 to Yuma (2007)

Today's Trailers: Burke and Hare, True Grit, I Am Number Four

It's a barrage of new trailers! Today we're giving them to you in bulk.

What? Lazy, you say? Screw you, I call it efficient. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I just meant that I want to give you as much movie info quickly and en masse so we can discuss all these wonderous new flicks asap.

Firstly, Burke and Hare, starring Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis as grave robbers. HILARIOUS! No really, the concept is morbid but this is a dark comedy I can totally get behind.

Next - the Coen Brothers' True Grit remake starring Josh Brolin, Jeff Bridges, and Matt Damon.

A tough U.S. Marshal helps a stubborn young woman track down her father's murderer. [IMDB]

BOOM you're all caught up, now watch and tell me what you think.

Finally, we have I Am Number Four, starring Timothy Olyphant, Dianna Argon, and Alex Pettyfer as Number Four himself.

John is an extraordinary teen, masking his true identity and passing as a typical high school student to elude a deadly enemy seeking to destroy him. Three like him have already been killed ... he is Number Four. [IMDB]

Secret identities? Super powers? I'm in.

Dazzling Dance: Way Out West

This post was written by Adam from The Blue Meanies are Coming!

Adam became this week's Cin-Ob Supreme by having the fastest guns in the west for our game WHO AM I? 

Take it away, Adam!

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I grew up watching repeats of classic Laurel and Hardy films, and if there's one scene that sums up why they're my favourite comedy duo, it's this funny dance sequence from their 1937 classic Way Out West. The song they're dancing to is At the Ball, That's All, performed by the Avalon Boys...

Quotable Quote: The King and Four Queens

"I never put a dime on anybody but myself. I haven't lost yet."

~ Clark Gable as Dan Kehoe in The King and Four Queens (1956)

Tasty Tagline: Tall Tale

A journey into a world where legends come to life.

Dreams come true.

And every boy is a hero.

Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex!

Coming soon is Jonah Hex, a horror western (huh?) starring Josh Brolin as the title character - a scarred bounty hunter fighting for his freedom from the warrants out on him.

Comic book fans might know this franchise already, as it's all part of the DC universe.

In the film, Hex is tapped by the US military to catch an evil terrorist (played by John Malkovich) who plans to unleash hell on Earth. Ooohhh! And when we say evil we don't mean "you're a bad bad man" kinda evil... we mean DEMONIC evil. Cuz yeah... it's a horror film.

Megan Fox stars as a whore. No, literally. She plays Leila, a gun-slingin' ol' west harlett, and also the love interest. A little young for Brolin's love interest, dontcha think? Kind of strikes me as a sad attempt to cash in on her fleeting popularity as a "hot chick."

Studio Exec:      Who's really hot right now?

Producer:          That chick from Transformers.

Studio Excec:     Can she act?

Producer:            Irrelevant, sir. She'll look good in hooker outfits.

Studio Exec:       Get her agent on the phone.

Anyways, Jonah Hex comes to theatres June 18th,

Tasty Tagline: Once Upon a Time in the West

There were three men in her life.

One to take her...

one to love her...

and one to kill her.

Campfire Classic: City Slickers

Here's a brilliant Campfire Classic where we see Mitch (Billy Crystal) quietly shite his pants while trying to stand his ground with Curly.

*Note the moment when he realizes Curly isn't finished singing...*

Delightful Dialogue: The Searchers

Lars Jorgensen: It's this country killed my boy. Yes by golly I tell you, Ethan...

Mrs. Jorgensen: No Lars. It just so happens we be Texicans. Texican is nothing but a human man way out on a limb. This year and next, and maybe for a hundred more. But I don't think it'll be forever. Some day this country's gonna be a fine, good place to be. Maybe it needs our bones in the ground before that time can come.

~ John Qualen and Olive Carey in The Searchers (1956)

Quotable Quote: Three Amigos

"Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!"

~ Steve Martin as Lucky Day in Three Amigos (1986)

Scintillating Scene: Once Upon a Time in the West

Mysterg, as our newest Cin-Ob Supreme, has chosen a delectible scene from Sergio Leone's revolutionary 1968 western, Once Upon a Time in the West. Watch how the silence speaks louder than any dialogue. Brillz!

Tasty Tagline: The Quick and the Dead

Think you're quick enough?

Tasty Tagline: City Slickers

Yesterday they were businessmen.

Today they're cowboys.

Tomorrow they'll be walking funny.

Quotable Quote: Oklahoma!

"I wanted to marry her when I saw the moonlight shining on the barrel of her father's shotgun."

~ Eddie Albert as Ali Hakim in Oklahoma! (1955)

Quotable Quote: Brokeback Mountain

"I wish I knew how to quit you."

~ Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist in Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Tempting Trailer: Brokeback Mountain

Although some people are quick to knock this one, we thought this was a great love story! Both incredible actors who gave incredible performances!

Tantalizing Trivia: Wild Wild West

Will Smith was offered the lead role in The Matrix (1999) but turned it down to star as James West in Wild Wild West (1999).

He has said publicly that it was the worst decision of his career. Ya think?

Scintillating Scene: A Fistful of Dollars

Seriously peeps... Don't mess with his mule.

Campfire Classic: The Cherokee Kid

Sinbad and Burt Reynolds enjoy a cozy campfire in one of our favourite 90s movies.

The Cherokee Kid (1996)

Dazzling Dance: The Mask of Zorro

This is why every woman on the face of the earth wants Antonio Banderas in her panties.

The Mask of Zorro (1998)