LOL = POS

Demi Moore and Miley Cyrus star in LOL, a tale about relationships, love and Facebook status updating. Well, that's what the trailer implies anyways...

In a world connected by YouTube, iTunes, and Facebook, Lola and her friends navigate the peer pressures of high school romance and friendship while dodging their sometimes overbearing and confused parents. IMDB

After watching the trailer I have decided that this movie will more than likely suck... LARGE. Watch it and tell us what you think!

PS - Angie here. Chantale, how could you possibly fail to point out the horrible double-entendre of the title. I almost puked when I watched this and she goes "I'm Lola but everyone calls me Lol." *gagging sound* Who writes this schlock?!

What to Expect When Your Hollywood Expectations Are Low... the answer? This Movie.

Hollywood Producer Guy: "Geez, we're really running on fumes here since we tapped out the comic book market! We've even done board game movies in our desperation. What's next for us?"

Guy #2: "I got it, boss! This book has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for 791 years and nobody's made a movie yet!"

Hollywood Producer Guy: "But it's an informational book. There's no story."

Guy: "Your point?..."

Hollywood Producer Guy:"Get the authors on the phone! I have movie rights to buy!"

______________________________________

At least that's how I imagine it went down when this dipshit idea came into being.

When I saw the poster with J-Lo on it I thought it was a cleverly photoshopped joke. A quick google search told me it was sadly a reality. Fo' realio, Jennyfromtheblock? You already did the horrible panned pregnancy flick. A flick that my movie-lovin' sis and I walked out of. Yeah, that's right. We just couldn't make it to the end, a sentiment I'm sure was shared by many cinema patrons.

The latest movies Hollywood is pumping out are shameful, based on anything they can buy the rights to, and What to Expect When You're Expecting (to be released in May) will most likely be another lame-ass multi-storyline POS that boyfriends everywhere will roll their eyes about and be dragged to go see, and girls with small brains will shriek to their friends "Oh my gaawwddd we have to go see that! GIRLS NIGHT!"

Sorry, I don't mean to come across all hostile and shit, but it's true. Check out this jaw-dropping synopsis:

A look at the lives of five couples as they prepare to become parents.[IMDB]

Whoa whoa whoa there, not so much information! You can bet every stereotype will be represented here, from the fertility-treated couple, possibly a lesbian couple, the older couple, the young inexperienced couple, the accidental solo-pregnancy, the "loves being pregnant" Stepford wife, the angry "losing my career" business woman, etc., etc., etc.

Other celebrities who stooped low enough to be a part of this are Anna Kendrick, Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Brooklyn Decker, Megan Mullaly, Chace Crawford, and Mr. Schuester Matthew Morrison.

How do you feel about every single thing that exists in pop culture being made into a film?

More posters featuring other knocked up female celebs after the jump..

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

It's been a while folks, but I'm here today to tell you about an upcoming flick. After our piece on our favie Casino gems, I thought it appropriate to follow it up with a movie about a Vegas magician! Abracadabra, synopsis-bo-bopsis!

The film follows Las Vegas magician Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) as he attempts to reunite with his former partner Anton Lovecraft (Steve Buscemi) to take on dangerous street magician Steve Gray (Jim Carrey). Wikipedia

I likey. I likey a lot. Cast members also include James Gandolfini, Olivia Wilde, Brad Garrett, Jay Mohr, Alan Arkin and a rumoured David Copperfield as himself. Awesome. How can this go wrong?

The Hobbit in Halves

Several more exclusive promotional images from the upcoming Hobbit films have been released to the general public, depicting the movie’s all-star cast costumed up as the 13 dwarves (yes, 13, not 7) who drag unwilling hobbit Bilbo Baggins all the way to the Lonely Mountain.

The British contingent is particularly impressive, with Irish actor James Nesbitt taking on the role of Bofur, Being Human’s Aidan Turner cast as Kili and Robin Hood star Richard Armitage playing Thorin Oakenshield. The latter is the dwarf prince who leads the party on their quest to reclaim his home from the dragon, Smaug, who will be played via motion capture by Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch. Quite an impressive line-up, wouldn’t you say?

Of course, there are also several even bigger names reprising their roles having featured in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. Sir Ian McKellan is back as Gandalf (many cast members claimed they would have boycotted the film had he declined the role), whilst Andy Serkis, Hugo Weaving and Elijah Wood return as Gollum, Elrond and Frodo respectively.

Filling the shoes of Bilbo himself (although actually hobbits don’t wear shoes) is Martin Freeman, who director Peter Jackson feels is perfect for the role. On announcing his casting decision, Jackson said, “He is intelligent, funny, surprising and brave, exactly like Bilbo, and I feel incredibly proud to be able to announce that he is our Hobbit.”

It seems old news now that, in the transition from book to film, the Hobbit has been split into two, but some are still struggling to come to terms with the idea. If The Lord of the Rings succeeded with only one film each, why should Tolkien’s shorter prequel story get two films dedicated to it? However, on speculation, The Hobbit actually lends itself quite effectively to a two film format. Like the final installments of the Harry Potter franchise, it seems likely that the first Hobbit film will be somewhat of a journey movie whilst the second will be more action-packed and feature the story’s conclusive epic battle.

The Hobbit films, An Unexpected Journey and There and Back Again, will be released in cinemas in December 2012 and 2013 respectively. All three of the Lord of the Rings films, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King are available for rental or purchase on Blu-Ray or DVD from LOVEFiLM.

A Great Bromance Returns With The New Sherlock Holmes Flick!

Yaaayyy! I am so freaking excited for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, you don't even know!

I've watched the first one so many times, it's sick. I love the period genre, I love RDJ, I love Jude, I love detectives, I love science, I love pipes, I love paranormal, so how could I NOT love that movie? So the idea of a sequel has me tingling.

Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson join forces to outwit and bring down their fiercest adversary, Professor Moriarty. IMDB

No surprise in the plot there, since it was majorly hinted at in the first one, and anyone who knows a darn tootin' thing about Holmes is that Moriarty is his arch nemesis, so a tiny cameo in passing in the first movie just wasn't enough.

Honestly, I really can't wait to see more of RDJ and Jude, because they just had this bro-chemistry that was mesmorizing.

Did you enjoy the first one? Are you psyched for the second one?

The Producers of 300 Bring us More Buff Guys in Tight Fitting Ancient Greek Armor

... not that I'm complaining.

Immortals comes out November 11, and stars little known but really really exceptionally good looking Henry Cavill (Stardust, 2007) as Theseus, a Greek warrior battling imprisoned titans. Not sure what that means, but all I can imagine (shows how mature I am) is Hercules (1997).

*sings* "Locked those suckas in a vault - they're trapped!"

Anyways, based entirely on the trailer for Immortals, I can say it's obviously from the same peeps as 300, being very stylized. This might be coming out too soon after Clash of the Titans, but I guess Greek mythology is really hot right now.

Mickey Rourke also stars in this flick as King Hyperion, and he is possibly the only thing really out of place in the trailer, since he's not even trying to put on an accent. It's just a whole bunch of British sounding Greeks (whatevs) then all of a sudden Marv from Sin City's voice. Wuh? Oh well, he's sexy, he can stay.

Are you into these mythological movies? Are there too many lately?

Innocence... Cause There Aren't Enough Vamps Around

Vampires are soooo in right now. Or are they on the way out? Whatevs. Either way, I'm gonna tell you about an upcoming vamp flick I just came across.

A young woman discovers her private school houses a vampire sect. IMDB

Not much to go on here, but really, that's probably all we need to get the picture. Young woman, school, vampires, CHECK! Oooh ooooh I wonder if she'll meet a totally cute guy and then find out he's got a super dark, secret that we sooo won't be able to guess until like 20 minutes in when she follows him down a dark hallway into a secret chamber where a clan is sucking schoolgirls dry?!

Sucking schoolgirls dry... That really doesn't sound good.

The movie will star Abigail Breslin, and Maggie Gyllenhaal who is waaay cool in our books. Will she be a teacher/guidance counsellor? A vampire? Perhaps both?

We'll watch, will you?

The Vow: A Movie Surprisingly Not Based on a Nicholas Sparks Novel

Wanna cry? Do ya? Do ya? Well stock up on the Kleenex Cin-Obs, cause somethin' tells me this upcoming dromance (yes, I put them together) is gonna make us weepy and snotty.

The Vow is an upcoming romantic drama film directed by Michael Sucsy, starring Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum, Jeffrey Donovan, Lucas Grabeel, Sam Neill, Scott Speedman and Jessica Lange.

The film is based on a true story about a young woman who loses all recent memory in a car accident and struggles to rebuild her identity. It's based on the book of the same title, which is the story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter. It is Bernd Eichinger's final film right before his death. Wikipedia

When I first read about The Vow, I immediately assumed it was one of Sparks' sappy creations. But then I realized that if he had written a book with this plot, Rachel's character would have died in the accident, then her husband might die and then the story would be about their families picking up the pieces... then dying.

The Muppets!

This post's for you, Chanty.

We've been talking about this upcoming flick for almost two years now, and it's finally here. Chantale's dream husband, Jason Segel, stars in the newest Muppet movie, and based on the trailer, he seems like a great fit to star alongside these lovable puppets.

With the help of three fans, the Muppets must reunite in order to save their old studio from a greedy oil tycoon. [IMDB]

I also find it endearing that this was Jason's pet project, having always loved the muppets and caught the eye of the Henson team with his Dracula Musical, and ended up cowriting this script. So you KNOW it will be good.

I know the trailer looks like a mush-fest chick-flick, but just wait. Watch until the end.

Are you happy to see the Muppets back on the big screen?

Harry Potter Comes To An End!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is already in full promotional swing. The trailer is out!

In case you didn't read the books and don't know what to expect:

The final chapter begins as Harry, Ron, and Hermione continue their quest of finding and destroying the Dark Lord's three remaining Horcruxes, the magical items responsible for his immortality. But as the mystical Deathly Hallows are uncovered, and Voldemort finds out about their mission, the biggest battle begins and life as they know it will never be the same again. [IMDB]

Are you a hard-core HP fan? We're fans, but not crazily so, and we haven't read all the books so we can't quite compare. I just find it funny that each film was promoted as the epic of epicness that was ever epic. And honestly, they all kinda seemed the same at the end - wand duels, fantastical creatures, is Snape good or bad? We get it.

I was much more into the first few when they were young and Harry was just being introduced to the world of wizardry. Have the movies lived up to your expectations? Do you think there were too many?

Super 8 is Coming!

So the highly secretive Super 8 is coming out this weekend, and we are DYING to see it! A lot of effort went into keeping the plot a secret, say J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg, director and producer respectively.

"After witnessing a mysterious train crash, a group of friends in the summer of 1979 begin noticing strange happenings going around in their small town, and begin to investigate into the creepy phenomenon." [IMDB]

Oh lordy-loo, this looks so good! It's action packed and mysterious, but because the plot revolves around these kids, it seems kinda family friendly as well. They are making it seem like a monster/alien movie, but my gut instinct says it will turn out to be something very different causing all these weird events. The only problem about so much hype, suspense, and secrecy about what "it" is, is that when it's revealed, we'll most likely be disappointed. Like some grand wide shot of a pterodactyl (I spelled that right on the first shot, yeaahh!) three-quarters of the way through the movie, and everyone will just groan and go "...stupid."

Regardless, I'm still itching to know. What do you think? Is your curiosity peaked?

In Time... This Reminds Me of Something... Hmmmm...

In the not-too-distant future the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. A poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as 'time keepers'. IMDB

Ummm... Logan 's Run much?!!! So they're called 'time keepers' and not 'sandmen', but whatevs, same diff. Oooh I found another synops - here ya go:

Welcome to a world where time has become the ultimate currency. You stop aging at 25, but there's a catch: you're genetically-engineered to live only one more year, unless you can buy your way out of it. The rich "earn" decades at a time (remaining at age 25), becoming essentially immortal, while the rest beg, borrow or steal enough hours to make it through the day. When a man from the wrong side of the tracks is falsely accused of murder, he is forced to go on the run with a beautiful hostage. Living minute to minute, the duo's love becomes a powerful tool in their war against the system. Twentieth Century Fox

It stars Alex Pettyfer, but other notable castmates include Amanda Seyfried, Justin Timberlake, Cillian Murphy, Olivia Wilde, Matt Bomer and Vincent Kartheiser. Well, needless to say, we're totally in! Great cast, and of course, a great concept.

Anyone else pumped for this sci-fi-ish sure-to-be-gem?

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Catch up on Alex Pettyfer's back catalogue with Beastly at LOVEFiLM.com where (if you live in the UK, Germany or Sweden) you can now watch free movies online without downloading as well as renting games and DVDs.

Breaking Dawn Part 1 is Getting Closer!

Oh my oh my oh my... Breaking Dawn is almost here!

Although the last book, in my opinion, was rushed, ridiculous, lazy, and downright disgusting and offensive to young girls, I'm super duper anxious to see how it translates into film. Without any spoilers for those who haven't read the book, I'll just say there were a few gruesome and graphic scenes that I can't quite imagine being played out visually. The movies have been pretty light and PG, but Breaking Dawn (if true to the book) will push the teen-friendly franchise into some racy and nasty territory, including teen marriage and pregnancy, violent sex, and mutant babies. Awwwww yyeaaaahh!!

Anyways, why am I avoiding spoilers? This teaser trailer pretty much tells you everything you need to know. Actually, thinking about it, I bet they'll cut off part 1 right at the gruesome shit and save it for part 2. Yep, that's what they'll do.

Here. The IMDB write-up is a spoiler in itself:

The Quileute and the Volturi close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses different threats to the wolf pack and vampire coven.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is an American television series that was broadcast on NBC from September 22, 1964, to January 15, 1968. It follows the exploits of two secret agents, played by Robert Vaughn and David McCallum, who work for a fictitious secret international espionage and law-enforcement agency called U.N.C.L.E., whose letters stand for the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement. Wikipedia

George Clooney will be starring in this remake set for release next year. I wish there was something exciting I could say about it, but the whole spy/FBI/special ops stuff has sooooo been done. And is it just me or does Clooney go for these roles all the time? I dunno, I lost interest in George after O Brother, Where Art Thou?, which, P.S. is an AWESOME flick!

I haven't seen the original TV series, but I did find this majorly slick picture. Check it:

Any Cin-Obs seen this series? Anyone think George can fill these super-duper hunky shoes?

Rogen + Streisand = My Mother's Curse

Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand. Yes, you read that right. These two legends (in their own right) will star together in an upcoming flick called My Mother's Curse:

My Mother's Curse is a 2012 American comedy film directed by Anne Fletcher, written by Dan Fogelman, and starring Barbra Streisand and Seth Rogen. The story is about an inventor (Rogen) who invites his mother (Streisand) on a cross-country trip as he tries to sell his new product while also reuniting her with a lost love. Wikipedia

Who gives a shnoon what this movie is about - isn't everyone now dying to see Seth and Barb together on the screen?! I suppose it's a brilliant pairing... Seth Rogen will attract a younger, hipper generation and Streisand will attract everyone else (ok maybe not everyone, but ya know).

Will mos def be keeping y'all posted as promo material is released!

Love, Wedding, Marriage, Cliché

"A happy newlywed marriage counselor's views on wedded bliss get thrown for a loop when she finds out her parents are getting divorced." [IMDB]

Oh geeez she's a marriage counselor? Way to throw the audience for a loop! How ironic and hilarious! Not.

I think most of the Twilight cast have chosen good roles away from the franchise, but oh Kellan Lutz... I still have my doubts. I mean, don't get me wrong - you're smokin' hot. But that might not be enough to keep your career going strong.

This poster boasts "directed by Dermot Mulroney." I'm not sure that's gonna snag any extra viewers, but it does also star Mandy Moore, James Brolin, and Jane Seymour - who has turned out to be kinda funny in the cougar roles in recent years.

The deep-down truth is that I love rom-coms. Sometimes it takes me a long time to finally sit down and watch one. I'm not rushing to the theatres to see them, but I usually crack a smile and get a little sentimental watching them.

What do you think of these types of movies? Enjoy them? Loathe them?

Taylor Lautner Breaks Free of Twilight With ABDUCTION

A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website. [IMDB]

Say what you will about Taylor Lautner, but I think he's got da chops to make it as a big blockbuster Hollywood star. It might take some time for the general public to take him serious after Twilight, but he's cute, he's ripped, and he can act. You might debate that, but I think he can.

His new action flick, Abduction, comes out in September, and looks very much like an intallment in the Bourne franchise, and I mean that in a good way. Except this one's about teenagers. Regardless, he seems to kick a lot of ass in this trailer, and he's lookin' good. Haters don't hate.

He gives off a very charming Cruise-esque action-star vibe. You know, without the alien thing.

What do you think of this one? Do you think Taylor will make it in Hollywood without Twilight?

Madagascar 3: Like These Poor Animals Haven't Already Suffered Enough!

Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Melman the Giraffe and Gloria the Hippo join a traveling circus in an effort to get back home to New York. IMDB

Well, I guess I'm not that surprised. If it ain't broke, drive it into the ground as hard as you can for a whole lotta money. Madagascar and Madagascar: Escape to Africa weren't enough - apparently the franchise has more stories to tell. Same shenanigans, different pile... Ok that didn't work, but you get the point.

What can I say? The first two installments were super duper cute and the third will be nothing less. I do enjoy the concept of all these zany characters in the circus.

Predictions: Alex becomes the ringmaster, Gloria will perform as the bearded lady, Marty will be an acrobat or stilt-walker and Melman will take on the role of elephant shit-shoveller. Yes? I think so.

Men In Black 3 On Set!

Yaaaayyy this is finally happening!

Doesn't Josh Brolin look PERFECT as an agent? Ughhh he's actually pretty sexy. Wow, Josh.

Warrior: Tom Hardy is Gonna Punch You in Your Babymaker

Now here's one for all the dudes out there with small peepees/too much testosteroney. Warrior, coming out this September is a rock 'em-sock 'em-punch-your-lights-out-good-time.

The youngest son (Hardy) of an alcoholic former boxer (Nolte) returns home, where he's trained by his father for competition in a mixed martial arts tournament -- a path that puts the fighter on a collision corner with his older brother (Edgerton).  IMDB

Shhhh... Did you hear that? D-bags everywhere are rejoicing! Ahhhh jokes, jokes. But seriously, d-bags are especially drawn to UFC cage fighting stuff. I don't know if it's the hair, tattoos or muscles that gets 'em, but they love it. In the words of Russell Peters, I don't make the stereotypes, I just see 'em. Amen.

So here's the trailer, watch it and let us know if you're interested. Don't be afraid, we won't yell DOUCHEBAG if you think it looks good. We all have a little d-baggery in us.