Wild West + Robots + Russell Crowe = Westworld

Nothing really beats an amusement park full of zombies (a la Zombieland)... wait... what's that? A Wild West amusement park filled with robots? Tell me more:

Two guests at a high-tech amusement park go on a wild west adventure. The park is peopled by robots and is designed to provide a 100% life like experience simulating Roman times, cowboy times, and medieval times. When the park's central computer breaks down, the robots start to run amok and our two guests find themselves stalked by a robot gunslinger. IMDB

As I read Angie the synpos, her eyes slowly began to bug out of her head and a shit-eating grin formed on her face. She then paused and dramatically whispered "That's a Goosebumps book". Oh hells to the yes. This is exactly the kind of story R.L. Stine fed our pre-teen selves way back in the day.

In my search for more info, I came across Westworld (1973). This just keeps getting better and better. I'm still majorly excited for a remake, but the fact that there is a 70s sci-fi cheesefest I NEED to find and watch is much more thrilling!

Russell Crowe is rumoured to star, and as more info is released, we'll be sure to provide y'all with the updates. But regardless of the unnamed cast, wouldn't we all agree this sounds like the shiz?!

Memorable Monologue: A.I.: Artificial Intelligence

"She loves what you do for her, as my customers love what it is I do for them. But she does not love you David, she cannot love you. You are neither flesh, nor blood. You are not a dog, a cat, or a canary. You were designed and built specific, like the rest of us. And you are alone now only because they tired of you, or replaced you with a younger model, or were displeased with something you said, or broke. They made us too smart, too quick, and too many. We are suffering for the mistakes they made because when the end comes, all that will be left is us. That's why they hate us, and that is why you must stay here, with me."

~ Jude Law as Gigolo Joe in A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Delightful Dialogue: I, Robot

Detective Del Spooner: You must be the dumbest, smart person in the world.

Susan Calvin: And you must be the dumbest, dumb person in the world.

~ Will Smith and Bridget Moynahan in I, Robot (2004)

Delightful Dialogue: The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Pluto Nash: So how's it going with you and Babbet?

Bruno: Me and Babbet? I don't think that's going to happen. I found out that I'm 110 volts and she's a 220.

Pluto Nash: Just go to the hardware store and get an adaptor.

Bruno: Nah. That just ruins it for me.


~ Eddie Murphy and Randy Quaid in The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)

Charismatic Character: Teddy

Who says a Charismatic Character has to be human? Not us! Today's choice is Teddy, the loveable teddy bear from Aritificial Intelligence: A.I. (2001). When we first met Teddy, we nearly shit ourselves. We were genuinely psyched at the idea of a robot teddy bear!

Now, Teddy was just a little too smart for us. We already had issues leaving our plush toys alone, so if they had talked, we would have been toting them everywhere. Poor, poor Teddy. Anyone else feel bad for him? Of course we felt bad for David too, but there was something so heartbreaking about Teddy being abandoned.

Memorable Monologue: A.I.: Artificial Intelligence

"Those were the years after the icecaps had melted due to the greenhouse gases and the oceans had risen and drowned so many cities along all the shorelines of the world. Amsterdam, Venice, New York, forever lost. Millions of people were displaced. Climate became chaotic. Hundreds of millions of people starved in poorer countries. Elsewhere a high degree of prosperity survived when most governments in the developed world introduced legal sanctions to strictly license pregnancies. Which was why robots, who were never hungry and did not consume resources beyond those of their first manufacture were so essential an economic link in the chain mail society."

~ Ben Kingsley as the Narrator in A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Tasty Tagline: Robots

Repair for adventure!

TAGLINES: Take Two! WINNER! And New Assignment!

You submitted... and you voted!

And the winning tagline for The Terminator is....

Hasta la visa, motherfuckers.

You guys like the vulgarity, huh? Sorry Mom, but they voted!

This gem was submitted by Dannie from Opinionated? Me?

Congrats, Dannie! And thanks for playing! Your tagline has now been inducted into the Tagline Hall of Fame! Found right below our header...

Aaaannnnd it's that time again! Your new assignment is... drumroll...

Now go, Cin-Obs! Submit your alternate taglines for The Princess Bride!

TAGLINES! Take Two! Time to vote!

Ok, Cin-Obs!

The time has come to vote on the submissions for this installment of TAGLINES! Take Two!

And the entries for The Terminator are:

Better than Conan the Destroyer or your money back!


Yo.

He's Back For The First Time, And To Change The Future, A Catchphrase Will Be Born!


Hasta la Vista, motherfuckers.


See this movie, if you want to live.


and

I'll be back! Come with me if you want to live! It's not a tumah!

So the poll is up on the sidebar! Cast your votes and induct someone into the Tagline Hall of Fame!

Geeks rejoice! Battle Angel is coming!

For all of you who follow the site, y'all know how much we love us an 'end of the world, catastrophic, apocalyptic' plotline. We're sick. We know this. But we know we're not alone. This world is full of people who get a sick joy out of watching it all come to an end on the big screen. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think we might need therapy...

So I was on an 'end of days' mish on IMDB and I found an upcoming that made me all tingly. And then I saw it was based on graphic novels. Or comic books as they are known to the common folks. Sheesh. And THEEEENNNN I saw it was written for the screen by James Cameron!! To all you Cameron haters, go munch a log. Ok, ok, the 'I'm the king of the world' stunt was an extremely D-bag-o-licious move.

Anyhoo.

Here's the synopsis:

Set in the 26th century, the story takes place 300 years after a societal collapse caused by a major war. In that society, it's a technological dark age following a pinnacle of achievement far beyond where we are right now. Cyborg technology is a way of life. People are augmented a lot as workers, so being a cyborg is not unusual. The main character is a cyborg. She has an organic human brain, and she looks like she's about fourteen years old. She has a completely artificial body and she's lost her memory. She is found in a wreckage and reconstituted by a cyber-surgeon who becomes her surrogate father. IMDB

WHAAAA?! Future? Apocalypse?! Advanced technologies? Cyborgs?! *Chantale's head implodes and then subsequently explodes... (somehow)*

Half human, half robot. Well you can imagine what this leads to on this 'lil website of ours:

WoooooWeeeee!! We are HOT robots!

No posters. No trailers. Only our imaginations running wild until 2011. We'll keep you posted, as always!

Memorable Monologue: I, Robot

"There have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code, that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul?"

~ James Cromwell as Dr. Alfred Lanning in I, Robot (2004)

Tasty Tagline: The Terminator

Your future is in his hands.

Quotable Quote: Robots

"He's got your moms eyes and my dads nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts."

~ Stanley Tucci as Mr. Copperbottom in Robots (2005)

Delightful Dialogue: Robots

Rodney Copperbottom: When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.

~ Ewan McGregor and Robin Williams in Robots (2005)

I, Robot 2

It turns out there might be more to say about super duper smarty-pants robots. Writer/producer Ronald Moore stated in an interview that he is developing a script for the sequel to the 2004 sci-fi blockbuster I, Robot.

A sequel to such a successful movie could be a hit... it might also turn out to be a giant stinking pile of shlop. If Will Smith comes back, we're sure everyone will make money. We'd also love to see Shia LeYumYum back in a bigger role. Afterall, he has become a mega money making machine since the release of I, Robot.

The robots failed in their attempt to take over the world, so what comes next? A second rebellion? A prequel showing us how this all got started in the first place? Either way, we have some working title suggestions:

I, Robot: Robo Rebellion

I, Robot: We Didn't Learn Our Lesson the First Time

I, Robot: The Wrath of Wrobots

Bleep bloop bleep clickity clack ziiiing! OHHH NOOOO!!! THEY'RE LISTENING!!

THE COMPUTER IS TAKING OVER!!! CTRL-ALT-DEL! CTRL-ALT-DEL!!

Ferocious Fight: Eurotrip

Bleep bloop beeeeeep... click zzzziiing! Use your ocular muscles to observe the exchange of agressive strikes between robots. Beep.

EuroTrip (2004)

Striking Similarity: The Matrix Revolutions VS District 9 VS Avatar

Exhibit A - The Matrix Revolutions (2003) gave us an army of badass robot suits, controlled by guys inside. I wanted one immediately. But I also thought they were cute. Is that weird?

Exhibit B - In District 9 (2009) we got this hardcore piece of alien technology... hmmm whadda ya know? A robot suit that you jump into and run amok! God, I was so excited when he hopped in that baby to kick some MNU arse.

Catch a glimpse of the guy takin' it for a ride at the 1:50 mark.

Exhibit C - Avatar (2009) showed us the biggest A-Hole in the world, running around Pandora in his ...you guessed it... robot suit! Check out this character profile for some little clips. This example is a lot less loveable, since I wanted to feed this jerk to one of the alien creatures the whole way through.

UPDATE! Cin-Ob Jonathan (and reigning Cin-Ob Supreme) has given us another example!

Exhibit D - Aliens (1986) gives us yet another robotic suit that whoops ass! (Also a James Cameron film, so he's borrowing from himself for Avatar!)

Anyone know of any other examples of this robot-suit phenomenon?
I'm sure there's more out there!

Chanty here... I thought of another one - The baddie from Innerspace (1987)...

BOOYAAAA!!

Tempting Trailer: The Terminator

What do you get when you mix Arnie (when he was still badass), the 80s, and time travel? The Terminator (1984). Watch the trailer, or you'll be marked for termination.

Astro Boy

Astro Boy, coming in October 2009, is based on the popular Japanese franchise. It will be in 3D... of course.

Everyone's favourite British child actor, Freddie Highmore, will be voicing Astro Boy, a young robot created by a brilliant scientist who goes on a quest of some sort to find himself, joins forces with other powerful, rebellious, crime-fighting kids (huh?) and saves Metro City!

Nicolas Cage, Kristen Bell, Bill Nighy, Donald Sutherland, Samuel L. Jackson, and Eugene Levy are just some of the other voices that will appear in the film. Huzzah.

We have some beef with this one... first of all, haven't we already seen the "robot child who has feelings" concept? Yeah... didn't work out too well for Spielberg, so don't even go there.

Next, enough 3D. Aren't people over this yet?

I guess we'll have to see it to make up our minds completely, but we'll be dragging our feet all the way to the theatre.

Surrogates

No no no... it's not another artificial insemination movie.

Bruce Willis stars in Surrogates, which takes place in the year 2017. Humans live in total isolation, only moving about the world through their robotic counterparts, called their surrogates. Duh.

We don't quite feel 2017 is far enough into the future... but meh.

The surrogates are perfected versions of the people controlling them, and the world has become a completely safe, harmonious place.

UNTIL... dun dun dun! I bet you didn't see that coming! Conflict! There's always a conflict!

So Brucey uses his surrogate to investigate the first murder in years - someone has killed the genius inventor of these robot avatars. For some reason he can't continue as his surrogate self, and he becomes the first person in a long time to venture out into the world as himself.

OOOOHHH we're mighty-excitey about this one, although it does remind us of I, Robot, but it still seems amazing!

The concept is based on a 2005-2006 comic book series.

Watch Brucey kick some lifelike robotic arse, September 25, 2009.