Opulent Opening: Scary Movie 2

We love a good spoof. Not surprising.

Not only does this Opulent Opening from Scary Movie 2 (2001) contain a happy-go-lucky singalong that turns gangsta, but it also has Natasha Lyonne as a demon child, an extended piss joke (and a poo joke for that matter), James Woods, Andy Richter, and some major projectile vomiting. Is it weird that those things combined made for a great scene? No, I've decided it's not weird.

Opulent Opening: The Ring

I can't even begin to tell you how much this movie scared the caca outta me. I was 18 when I went to see this flick on the big screen. The previews alone were enough to convince me it was worth seeing. So off I went. I watched most of the movie through my fingies then slept with a light on for 3 weeks.

There are a lot of people who didn't find this movie scary at all. I just don't get it. This was one of the first horror movies I saw that made me uncomfortable and uneasy the entire way through. Even when nothing was happening, I was wincing and whining. But then again, I'm a HUGE wimp.

Samara is one evil biatch. She rivals Linda Blair for me. I've never been so afraid of VHS cassettes.

Opulent Opening: Sliding Doors

In honour of Karen, this week's Cin-Ob Supreme, we give you a little taste of a film she loves - Sliding Doors (1998).

Watch Helen (Gwynnie) in this opening scene in an event that gets the whole ball rolling. If you haven't seen this gem, you really should. Alternate realities and the results of causality and all that philosophical jazz.

Opulent Opening: Napoleon Dynamite

This is one of best Opulent Openings out there. Ya either love him or hate him. You'll never guess which side we're on... I'll give you a hint: We pretty much LOVE everything! Yup. That's right. We heart Napoleon Dynamite (2004)!

The credits are delivered to us at first one dish at a time. Then they appear in library books, on candy wrappers, even on a tube of chapstick! So original. So absolutely appropriate for this bizarre comedy!

Opulent Opening: Lady in the Water

I didn't care much for this movie the first time I watched it. Then I watched it again. And yet again (as I often do). And then something magical happened. It took three viewings for me to actually see the movie. Turns out, it's beautiful and brilliant. It didn't receive much attention, but please... if you are one of those people who didn't give it a chance, I beg you... watch it again.

You might see something there you didn't see before. *Chantale sings to the tune of 'There's Something There' from Beauty and the Beast*

Yes. I'm a dork. You love it.

Striking Similarity: Do the Hustle (in a musical broadway-style medley)!

This is so obscure and random and really, truly demonstrates our level of sickness when it comes to movie obsession. But we're not ashamed. We're owning it, so here goes...

Today we're comparing Death Becomes Her and Sister Act 2. Here's what we found:

* Both were released in 1992
* Both comedies
* Both have Opulent Openings which involve big broadway-style performances
* Both performances involve a medley of songs
* Both medley's used the disco hit 'The Hustle' in the medley

Now, you're either thinking one of two things...

1. You both need to go get your freaking heads checked, then afterwards go get lives
or
2. You two are amazingly awesome and truly live up to your Cin-Ob Supreme titles!

We're hoping it's the latter.

Behold, the Opulent Opening/Medley bustin'/Hustlin' from Sister Act 2:



Now watch Meryl Streep throw in 'The Hustle' into her lovely little self-obsessed performance:

Opulent Opening: Wet Hot American Summer

Ah summer camp... good times. The last day was always the most emotional. So many fond memories, new friendships, and life lessons.

I'm full of shit. When I was 12 I went to camp, stayed one night, and went home the next day because it was awful. Girl in my cabin woke up with a rat on her in the middle of the night. True story. So I have no real summer-camp experience, but I'd like to think it's just like this movie.

Opulent Opening: Zombieland

Ok, so we finally got around to watching this and let me say.. I don't know WHAT THE HELL we were waiting for! We loved every bloody moment of this zombie-romance-road-trip-comedy. We sat in our newly revamped movie basement (photos to come), popped this baby in the DVD player, and were crapping our pants with glee in the first 5 minutes.

Chantale: Holy Shizzer, this is an Opulent Opening if I've ever seen one!
Angie: Ppfftgrrmgmgppofff!!!
Chantale: Swallow popcorn, then speak, Ang.



P.S. Keep your eyes peeled for a hilarious zombie nipple tassel moment!

Opulent Opening: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Sweet. Merciful. Lord. This opening sequence makes me feel weeeiiird inside! That's because I'm an 80s child so this brings feelings of nostalgia like nobody's business!

There's also nothin' like an animated opening to a live-action movie. This opulent opening has it all - a great score, a nice preview of what we're gonna see in the movie, and best of all - shenanigans! YEEAAHH!!

Hippy, I'm sure you're lovin' the Rick Moranis element to this opening!

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)

Opulent Opening: Little Shop of Horrors

This incredible Opulent Opening just makes me wanna go Shoop! Sha la la la la doop de doop! Bop shoo bop!

Not only does Little Shop of Horrors (1986) begin with an awesome scroll and a very intense narrator, but then we get a great effect that goes from outer space to a gutter, then into a musical number! Well done, filmmakers. Well done indeed.

Opulent Opening: Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny

Here's an Opulent Opening to a movie that has been watched an absolutely obscene amount of times by... you guessed it - US! Who else? Duh.
Jack Black and Kyle Gass are the poo. Maybe it's because they're freakin' hilarious. Perhaps it's due to their lyrical and musical genius. Or it might be because they too have cartoon versions of themselves. For all these reasons and more, we heart them!

Opulent Opening: RocknRolla

So comic-bookish. It's good shiz. But nothing beats the Opulent Opening of Watchmen... we'll have that one up for y'all soon!

Opulent Opening: Sister Act 2

This soundtrack is on permanent rotation in our car. We sit quietly and calmly as the intro begins and then we go apeshit. We sing in unison, we sing in rounds, harmonies are happening left, right and center. It's wild. It's frequent.

It's classic.

It's Sister May Clarence yo.

Opulent Opening: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Once again, I totally fantasized about being Willie, the lounge singer, in the Opulent Opening scene of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984). I so badly wanted a sparkly outfit and red scarves, and tap shoes. Oh and a smoke machine, and a big diamond... and a big gong, and a Chinese mobster boyfriend. Oh and the antidote. What a glamorous life.

Opulent Opening: Planet Terror

Here we have the opening scene of Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse: Planet Terror (2007). Rose McGowan gives us a bit of dazzling dancing with her go-go-stripping, but we're more interested in the tone this opening sets for the film... what with the crap film quality, the dirty club, the bizarre shots, the music, and the crying.

Opulent Opening: My Best Friend's Wedding

These gals are great! They set women back about a century, but they sure have great harmonies! They make us want to put on our little white gloves and sing about how desperate we are for a man.

And a 1, 2, 3...

* Angie and Chantale sing in painful harmony - We at Cinema Obsessed are wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'...*

Angie: Think they'll know we're praying for tickets to New Moon's opening night?
Chantale: Shhh...

Opulent Opening: The Rock

Whoa... I've never seen someone getting ready in the morning seem so intense. This Opulent Opening to The Rock (1996) is a great set-up for the movie ahead. The score is great, with some voice-over flashbacks (is that a thing?), while we watch badass Ed Harris apologize in advance to his dead wife for what he's about to do.

Memorable Monologue: No Country For Old Men

"I was sheriff of this county when I was twenty-five years old. Hard to believe. My grandfather was a lawman; father too. Me and him was sheriffs at the same time; him up in Plano and me out here. I think he's pretty proud of that. I know I was. Some of the old time sheriffs never even wore a gun. A lotta folks find that hard to believe. Jim Scarborough'd never carry one; that's the younger Jim. Gaston Boykins wouldn't wear one up in Camanche County.

I always liked to hear about the oldtimers. Never missed a chance to do so. You can't help but compare yourself against the oldtimers. Can't help but wonder how theyd've operated these times. There was this boy I sent to the 'lectric chair at Huntsville Hill here a while back. My arrest and my testimony. He killt a fourteen-year-old girl. Papers said it was a crime of passion but he told me there wasn't any passion to it. Told me that he'd been planning to kill somebody for about as long as he could remember. Said that if they turned him out he'd do it again. Said he knew he was going to hell. "Be there in about fifteen minutes". I don't know what to make of that. I sure don't. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, "O.K., I'll be part of this world."

~ Tommy Lee Jones as Sheriff Ed Tom Bell

Opulent Opening: 2001: A Space Odyssey

No dialogue....so simple. And so amazing!

Opulent Opening: The Love Guru

Mike Myers is the king of Opulent Openings. Just check out the Austin Powers franchise! He's on a roll! Although this movie was a stinker, the opening scene definitely caught our attention. Bloggin' 9-5... ain't no way to make a livin!